just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
