Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
