I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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