so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
