He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
