Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
