yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
