my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
