five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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