things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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