What a fucking waste of an outfit
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
