Apparently you make a good broom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
