You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
