WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
