imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
