the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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