I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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