i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
