i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
