He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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