Kiss
Puke
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
