i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
