you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
