I puked a lego.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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