He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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