Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
