Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
