Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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