So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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