I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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