We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
