Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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