what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
