So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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