He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At least make sure they are 18
Why
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
