Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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