So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
