She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
