her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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