Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
