The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
