census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
