the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
