dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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