i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
