Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
