As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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