I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
