i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
