we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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