Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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